13 days

The last 13 days I feel as if I am living in the twilight zone. Every day I wake up and something weirder and stranger happens in my little small town.

We are 13 days into the occupation of the bird refuge which is 30 miles from where I live. A few days ago I pulled over onto the side of the road and with my phone snapped a picture of this sign. How many times have I driven by this sign in the last 18 years? Hundreds. I have to tell you, that I have been on the bird refuge field trip with my kids now 10 times. That is about twice a kid. I have happy memories of riding the bus out to the refuge... spotting the owls in the trees, looking at the museum and then sitting on the grass and eating lunches with a whole pack of 2nd graders.

I wonder.. Will we ever go out to the refuge for field trips again?


Monday there was a huge town meeting. It happened in the high school gym. The gym where I have watched all of my kids play sports. The gym that has a floor that the Athletic Director religiously protects. It was a sign that all was not wrong in our universe that she carefully cordoned off the gym floor itself with fold out chairs and sports flagging. Not even news media or visiting political dignitaries were going to step onto that floor. The Sherriff, Mayor and School Superintendent spoke and asked the occupiers to leave. The State Representative and County Judge spoke and then locals had an opportunity to speak.

Afterwards we met a reporter in Safeway. He said he had a cold. He also said that people in Burns were really friendly.

It was interesting to me to hear so many people at the meeting speak out about the occupation but yet state they were glad to have the opportunity to have their voices heard. That it was a good thing that the community was getting the attention even if it had to be in this way... that the Government has to know that it has gone too far and that good stewards of the land are being mistreated.

I am not sure if in the long run.. or the big picture... This is the way that we want to get things done.

The people that are at the Refuge are using our community... but not to help us in the long run. They have a bigger agenda. An agenda that doesn't care if it tramples down our town and it's long standing friendship and heritage in the meantime.

Mid week the principal for the high school, the middle school and the Superintendent resigned. 3 teachers and a school board member did also.

For the first time in forever... I imagined a future that didn't include living in this place that I have called home. A future that might be away from our little slice of heaven. But heaven doesn't include living in fear, or having the FBI stationed in town... or having the citizens in town turning against eachother in a division that may destroy everything. Distrustful of law enforcment, embracing the militia and turning their backs on friends and families they have known and should value. And I know that I'm not alone in this feeling. I pray that this is not our future. That families will not leave seeking peace. That things will quiet down. That we can get some of the normalcy back.

Our ward has been so blessed in the past few years. Our missionary work has been amazing... Our area has been truly watched over. I pray that this doesn't derail all the good. I am hoping for discernment for our members. For good judgement to temper the anger and the hurt.

The last 13 days, some days, I have felt that Kris is my only friend.

Everyone deals with stress differently. I think it's safe to say that this is a stressful situation. Our schools were closed for a week. Barricades were put in the streets downtown around the courthouse. FBI and law enforcement are everywhere and we have had people from militia groups coming to "join up" . It's safe to say that probably every time you go to Safeway there are at least 5 people there that are packing (concealed carry). Social media is blowing up with the drama. Probably those people that never look at social media are buffeted from a lot of the stress. It sucks me in like a bad car wreck that I can't look away from. I've made it my personal policy that I won't post anything negative or inflammatory on social media and that has really been a saving decision for me. I mainly read to stay abreast of the situation and to see what both sides of the action are saying. And also sometimes I read for entertainment and humor. But it is paralyzing me in a way that I am not being productive.


So I have been trying to do things for the wedding. Buying material and patterns and dresses and sending back dresses. Booking the venue and the caterer and the cake and such. Because I really only have 2 months.

And so I am going to lock myself in the house during this occupation and sew. And maybe when I emerge from sewing ...
It will be over.

In other news.. it has snowed and snowed and snowed. And the old teal truck has broken down.