The Journey

I have a good friend whose life motto is Find Joy in the Journey.

This is not my life motto. But sometimes I wish it was. I think my motto would be something like, it's OK because someone I gave birth to or love is finding Joy in Their Journey.

Take today for instance. Everyone went out on the boat and had a great time. I stayed home. I stayed home because I was using my inhaler a lot and didn't want to be on the boat and not breathing well. I quite literally missed the boat... ha ha.

I think it is a good quality to want your loved ones to be happy and have fun times. And I have that quality in spades. Like I am literally overjoyed when people I love have good experiences and fun times. Especially my kids. It almost makes me feel like I did something right. And I mostly don't get jealous. I have really worked hard on that.. because I think that's a little immature to get jealous of people's happiness.

But usually I am not a person who enjoys things. I like to cross things off lists and I enjoy the sense of completion about doing things. But not really the things when I am doing them. Does that make any sense?

I'm kindof the person on the trip that is worried the whole time about the flight, or drowning or the kids back home or if the life insurance policy is up to date. Not that I don't have good times on trips. I do and I've taken lots. But sometimes the good time is a teensy bit tainted by the undercurrent of how I'm not really enjoying the journey and oh good, it's almost over.

I often wonder if I am the only one who is kind of enduring things while they are happening and then feeling the sense of awesomeness when they are done. What a crappy way to live.

Things that I actually enjoy right now....

Hmmm. That's a tough one. But I'd have to go with work... and if you are reading all the Barbara Bush quotes that are circling around on the internet... that's not really a great way to live.

Thanks Babs.