Yesterday was not a good day. I'd have to say the highlight (or should i say lowlight) was when I went to the cafeteria with Amanda and as I was getting my drink I told her she could choose between milk and juice.... She wanted Sprite. I was not going to give in... so she threw the mother of all tantrums. It included biting, kicking and me crying... as well as a spanking... all in front of the administrative office windows of m y place of employment. Luckily or unluckily a nice lady walked out and offered to carry my things (book, purse, etc) while I carried the unruly child. We had a long talk on obeying and not getting everything we want.
Then I came home... I had given them all a chore list.. The chores were completed with minimal complaining and then I tried to be super mother and let 2 of them have friends over and 2 go to friends houses. At the end of the day I was holed up in my bed.. My sweet husband came in to talk with me and invite me to watch a movie with him.. I just wanted to be alone. He listened to me while I reflected on my feelings... Are we really good parents because we provide so many things for the children? Have we ever said no to a camp or an activity? Are we just cruise directors in their lives? What are we really teaching them? Then I made my dramatic pronouncement that being a mother to them will probably kill me off.. because I spend so much of my time trying to make their lives run so smoothly and catering to their needs. Is that the definition of motherhood?
I guess it's good that he doesn't feel the need to think as deeply or analyze everything as I do... he rounded them all up this morning and went to play basketball... That pretty much solves everything in his world.
Now I am at the office "watching conference" ... well I will watch some just as soon as I get these photos posted.
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