Happy New Year from a frustrated perfectionist

It's that time of year again... when one reflects on the years or year past and thinks about starting a fresh. There are so many areas I would have to work on to be the person I 'd like to be in my head.. that I really don't even bother with resolutions. I have paid professionals (counselors and the like...people) to tell me that my diagnosis for this problem is that I'm a frustrated perfectionist

Maybe you know people who are perfectionists.. They do everything "just so". You could look at their house, or their car, or their cooking creations etc etc etc and find that they like things "perfect." You would look at me from the outside and think... wow.. did she comb her hair today? That girl really must be relaxed because she lets everything go!!! But in reality... In my head.. I wanted it to be just so... and it wasn't and so it makes me frustrated.

Sigh...

What's a girl to do?

So, instead, everyday I have to try to be content with the reality of my imperfectness. Some days it's easier than others. That little voice in my head reminds me of how the other mothers probably do such and such for their kids or how the other women have it so together. I have to rejoice in my small acts of perfectness... a really nice song performance or a meal that was edible or a part of my house that is semi clean.. (in my head it would all be spotless!!!).

Some things I have thought about doing in 2011...

Writing a book or an article for publication... This has always been a dream of mine.. but when it comes right down to it.. I freeze. I don't really think I'm that good and rejection would be crushing.. But it is a nice dream..

Finding a special name to do geneology/temple work for.

Learning to play a different instrument...

Spending more one on one time with each of my children.

But mostly ... I won't be making any resolutions at all. I 'll just be trying to enjoy the not so perfect life that I have... and all of it's wonderful-ness in spite of it all.