I'm sitting in my daughters apartment. It's taking me back in several ways. College apartments aren't design showpieces. They are a hodgepodge of nasty carpeting, old couches and randomly slapped up posters. Everyone throws their dishes in the kitchen and nothing is coordinated. There are mirrors and makeup and hair products everywhere. I remember living like this. It was fun. None of the things that I think are important now really matter in the college world.
It is about hanging out and having fun and dreaming of exciting futures and careers and families...and dating cute young boys..Oh yeah and studying.
Living on the other side of that mountain of adventures I feel a little like a time traveler. I mean this was my alma mater. I am sitting in a spot that I sat at 22 years ago. I see things so differently now and it is hard for me not to wonder and worry and hope that my sweet daughter is having the best experience that she can..
So when I visit..I put away my worries and I put on a smile and I drink in her gorgeous eyes and beautiful smile and I store up the moments with all the other happy memories I have that I've catalogued of her life. And then I will cry when I leave...and pray for her safety. I will leave her with quarters for laundry and a full gas tank and with lots of love..
And that will have to be enough for now.
Sometimes I hate being a parent and I just wish I was a friend..or a roommate...
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