Today I was Awful

This is a post I'm ashamed to write.

How do you admit when you've been awful?

I could say lots of reasons why I was stressed or busy or what not but in the end there is really no rationalization. But you do need to know the back story.

Today was busy as usual but not too busy. I actually had a massage. I cleaned a bit and did Stefani's FAFSA. The FAFSA application could drive one to drink but I did get it done. The computer I was working on didn't allow me to transfer all the pertinent information to Shelby's FAFSA. So I will have to recalculate everything again for hers. Thanks a lot federal government. We had piano and an awards night. Then we returned home.

Several weeks ago I purchased a ticket for Hailey to fly home from Utah after spring break. This will allow her to spend some time with her sister and family and is a nice perk. I did specify that this was contingent on. Hr finishing her personal progress. She is pretty close to being done.


Tonight she asked me to do something with a friend tomorrow at the same time Brooke was asking for homework help.

I completely freaked out and lost my temper. I made them both cry. I told Hailey she was lazy and grounded and I told Brooke I was tired of helping her. Then I banged around in the kitchen and yelled some more.

Pretty soon I recognized that I was being a complete *ss.

I was ruining the experience of the personal progress by being so demanding. I had crushed both of them with cruel, thoughtless words and I pretty much felt like dirt.

So I did the only thing I could do.

I apologized.

Unfortunately I can't take back my words. Hopefully those words won't be ones they remember 1000x in their heads through the years.

I told them I'm very very sorry and very human.

I make a lot of mistakes. And I do love them.

Kids are so forgiving. They were very kind to me afterwards and this is humbling.


I've worked so hard for so many years to not have my temper flare. It is so sad when I don't keep it in check.

It is sad and awful.