Missing you

I think sometimes in life we experience deep longing and pain that comes from missing someone. Maybe that is a loved one that we lost to death. I have lost all of my grandparents now. I miss them. I'm sure I don't miss them on the level that my folks miss them. But I do yearn for those times when they were around. We have lost one parent, between us, Kris and I. And that is a pain that I know my husband feels regularly. At first it was just like maybe we hadn't seen him in awhile, and because our visits weren't everyday, there was a protective part of the brain that maybe told us we would see him soon. For at least a year I don't think we even really came to grips that he was gone.

I don't like to think about when my parents will be gone. But it will happen eventually. There is a finite limit on our time together.

My kiddos are growing up and the older ones I only see intermittently. It is so great to have Shelby around. Even if it is only for 2 months. I love having Stef within 3 hours. I get to see her every few months. Those little visits give me my fix and I can bear my loneliness better.

The real kicker is my Hailey Mae. I really never imagined having a missionary in the field. I don't know why. I am ecstatic that she is serving and so happy, but I just miss her so much. Every week I look forward to her Monday emails. I usually email her a long missive. And because of this she sends me a pretty good reply. One Monday I didn't get any correspondence. It was almost 4pm and I emailed her again. Hey you! Email me! And she did. It has been almost a year since she left and we have 6 more months until she is done. 2/3rds of the way. So it will be not much time at all until I can hug her and see her in person.
But ... I really, really, really, miss her.

Amanda has now been gone a month. And I miss her too! She will be back this week. And I am going to hug her and squeeze her and not let her go anywhere for quite awhile.