When Trials Last a LONG Time

Is anyone else having Covid fatigue? I was really one of those people that was instantly fixated on the pandemic and started my plans for it right away. Wrote out my important stuff, made a plan and then settled in for the ultimate suffering. Then, it didn't really happen. Instead, we are just waiting, and waiting and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Now, I'm not really complaining. I'm happy that I'm not writing this while hospitalized on a ventilator. I'm super stoked that I haven't attended any loved ones' funerals or had to mourn a good friend...But I'd like to whine for a moment... about the way 2020 has been a dud.

First off... I am really hating the masks .. and I'm not talking about in a idealogical way like all of the people on facebook doing their diatribes against the government. I am actually wearing a mask ... the whole time I am at work. So I have the darn thing on constantly. I am re-breathing my stinky breath.. for hours. It fogs up my glasses. The loops holes break. They irritate my ears. I know, I know... small price to pay to stay healthy... blah blah blah. Remember this is a complain-y post...

I'm tired of masks... I'm tired of peoples opinions on masks. I'm tired of the debate. I just kindof wish we would all collectively wear them and knock this out.. but oh yeah... wait... that's not probably going to happen. Because you know... free agency and stuff.


I'm tired of the infighting.. The democrats vs. the republicans. Fox News vs CNN. I'm tired of reading articles about Covid. I'm tired of the updates, the numbers, the contradictions. One day there is no evidence of this.. the next.. oh no there is evidence of that. Nobody agrees and it is all SUPER DEPRESSING. I have started googling good news. Often... just to try to find something. Good.

I am tired of the way that health care has changed in the midst of the pandemic. They way we are afraid, the way that we have to screen everyone, the long hours that I have worked.. and the way it has made our workplace less happy and more choatic. And the turnover and the toll on the healthcare workers in general. I am sad that nurses have died. I don't want to die. But I also am tired of living like this.

I'm sad for the youth in 2020. The way they have had to totally adapt to an online learning platform. The socialization they are missing in school. The sports they can't play. The ways they are missing out. The damage to their mental health. Amanda has literally done nothing but puzzles for months. Trying to help her have a daily routine and structure has been hard. She really is amazing.

I'm sad for the opportunities to celebrate that we have had to forego. The weddings we haven't been able to attend. The plane tickets we had to get refunds for . The vacations we didn't take. The memories we didn't make.

I'm sad for the church meetings we didn't have. For the worship we missed. Tomorrow we are going to have our first in person church since February. I am so happy I get to go play the organ for it. I will probably sit up there with my mask on and sob while I play. I will play music that no one can sing to.

And that is why I am ready for 2021. Ready for some Covid relief.

I think I do good with short term challenges.. but things that last a long time... they aren't my strength.

Thanks for listening to this WHINE FEST.


OH and also... I had my colonoscopy. Can we talk? That prep is so 2020. It tastes like death. I think it is appropriate that I had such a horrible test in a horrible year. But it was a good result.. so there is that.

I will try to do a post next about all the little miracles and blessings of 2020 which there are many. But just for posterity sake , I think a little complaining is ok. I am all about being real. And today.. I am real tired of Covid.