When I first became a mother....

Stefani had to get pictures together for the senior slide show. She looked through my old photo albums that I used to carefully put together... now I just have boxes and boxes of photos that I'm going to get around to putting into albums about the time that I archive the other 300 pictures on the various computers we own by uploading them to Picasa. Sigh. There were some really cute pictures of her as a toddler. Sitting on the toilet brushing her teeth with her reddish light brown hair... Cut in a really bad haircut by a young, cheap mother. She was a really cute, really photographed kid. And many of the pictures reflected her over photographed self. She would pout, cry, or stare with a really annoyed look that the Kiddie Kandids people would pronounce cute and remind me that I would eventually love. Ah.. such good memories. But how in the heck did I do it? I worked, Kris studied, we played, we had ENERGY. And we kept going.. 4 more times adding to the brood.

This week, I was reminded how old I have gotten and how young motherhood is so much easier for the young. I babysat two of the darlingist children on the planet while their pregnant mommy was ill.... I anticipated waltzing through the day.. entertaining them effortlessly.. but in reality.. I had forgotten some of the challenges of the young mother. I took them first to the store where we purchased yummy snacks. The young lad had a fondness for marshmellows, fruit snacks, hot dogs and popsicles. I threw in some american cheese for sandwhiches and we were good to go. I struggled briefly with keeping them both restrained in the shopping cart.. but managed to get them both out to the van without forgetting the groceries. Phew... Back at home.. we began playing with Amanda's glut of toys. Amanda saves everything... like lip gloss from when she was 2, every award she's ever won in PE, so we were finding treasures that she has stashed.... We played dollies and cars and then we went downstairs to eat a snack. 10 marshmellows and 5 fruitsnacks later I had to do a little version of the heimlich on the young man. But I'm happy to report that he never really stopped breathing. After he did the "pukies" all was well and we decided to pace ourselves on the fruitsnacks. That was when the little princess girl got her finger stuck in the stroller. We didn't lose any fingers and only cried for a few seconds. That was when memories of my days with 4 little ones started edging there way back into my head. Obviously I'd blocked them out. Seriously though.. We did have loads of fun. WE played catch, swang on the swings, sang songs, and watched a movie or two... Then they both had a nap. I tiptoed then ran upstairs and frantically did a load of laundry and overbrowned some ground beef while running back and forth to check on them. They were so good... and they put up with me without crying or protesting for many hours. About 4pm the little guy said, ' Can we call my mommy?" "Awwww... Buddy, I said... We're going to see her really soon" I got a little lump in my throat and kissed his little head and thought about the important work his mom does everyday.. and how sometimes I tell her in nursery to enjoy these times because teenagers are so much harder. HA !

I'm so proud of her for never strangling me. What a pompous idiot I can be. Raising little ones is so hard and such physically demanding work. Work that isn't celebrated, or applauded by the world. But is so important. Work that she and so many others do amidst their daily challenges.

How in the world did I ever do it? I mean seriously.. I look at my beautiful girls and I realize that they really are being raised in spite of me sometimes. When I first became a mother I was young and energetic, and hopeful. Now I am old and tired and grateful.

I'm not ready to be a grandma yet. But I do look forward to more exhausting days watching little ones. (If their mother dares after reading my post !!!!) And more and more days watching my 5 and remembering when I first became a mother.