Today I ran away

Today was like a hangover. We had a wonderful weekend away in Tahoe. Really enjoyed ourselves and the time we spent together and with friends.

This morning came too quickly and it was like waking up to a new, stiff, reality. Bleary eyed and not yet coherent, I awoke to my cell phone rattling with news. In 20 minutes or less I had texted myself into a mess.

That's when I ran away. I got in the car and drove, crying and bewildered, destination unknown. (well I meant to go to Portland)..about 30 miles from my house my husband called to try to lure me home..with lukewarm apologies he didn't mean..trying to placate me. Who can believe something you want to hear but that rings hollow? Is what you want to hear helpful, when what was said before was what they really meant? Does it cancel each other out? Not usually. But I digress. The real reason I turned around and came home was that a cop turned on his lights going the other way and I had forgotten to put on a bra.

Then I made actual in my head plans to move to Hawaii. Put the whole sordid mess of my life behind me. I could leave it all in Kris's capable hands and disappear. It is sometimes so tempting. How long could I last? What money would I use? I could dye my hair and change my name and be like Bourne identity, except without the guns and high speed car chases. I was thinking of going on line and getting nursing applications for far off places.


Instead, I went to Verizon and bought a smart phone.

And that is how I ran away.

I'm back now ...for awhile.