I really need to get my blog on a positive track. I write my blog for a few reasons. Mostly to share news of my family with those I love. Brag about my kids a bit..and post pictures. And also as a vehicle for me to explore my thoughts and feelings.
I guess like anyone I have times where I'm on top of the world and other times where I'm melancholy or just downright sad. Lately Ive been the latter. Losing loved ones, letting kids grow up and working in a field where loss and illness are daily events have contributed to my funk.
Sometimes when I'm in a funk I have really profound thoughts.
There are two big ones I had today.
I've experienced lots of emotions over the years. Anger, jealousy, fear, pain, joy ....but one of the worst things to experience is being an embarrassment to someone. It's never fun to be a burden to anyone....but 10x worse than that is an embarrassment. I think some people never realize they are an embarrassment unless they are very sensitive or empathetic or just in tune. It goes without saying that all parents experience this feeling with kids. But when you aren't expecting it, this feeling can really crush you.
Thought number two.
Relationships that make you feel happy reward something in your brain. It's like the Pavlov Dog thing. It almost becomes a conditioned response. When you are with someone and they don't make you anxious, don't say critical things, have fun with you and give you strength you gravitate to those relationships. Inversely or conversely if a relationship consistently causes you to be stressed, anxious, criticized or worn down you avoid it. It's very simple.
I really won't elaborate more. But I have challenged myself to write a positive post next and so that is my plan.
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