Med Free

Well I've done it. For the first time in 5 years.. I am pretty much living without chemical assistance. Not in a bad way. I'm not addicted to anything (other than pop). I just needed a little assistance with my brain chemicals. And I've run out of medicine options that really work without making me nauseated, tired, fuzzy, blunted etc... so I'm going to try life without it. I'm tired of trying new meds too... they take weeks and weeks to work and then you find the side effects not appealing (wicked dreams let me tell you). Not maybe a smart move a few years ago... but I feel stronger now and I'm hoping that it will be ok. I don't know why I'm putting it out there. Sorry .. nobody really wants to know this.. If you've clicked on this checking on one of your friends blog... sorry.. I'm their crazy friend that posts dumb things... But I do use this as a bit of a journal.. and not too many people read it. I do truly believe in meds for depression.. I think if it works for you and helps make your life better than it is a wise choise. Soo... I've already noticed a couple of things. When I 'm not on my medicine I'm not as brave or as funny... I don't really want to be around anyone but my sweet J. Larene (she knows who she is)...I hibernate more. I get my feelings hurt easier. I cry more and I just have to look at things and realize that I'm looking at life through a different lense and make that adjustment back again. The exciting thing is that I am going to do 2 things... first I'm going to EXERCISE... yeah baby... while Amanda is in school 2 x aweek to start.. (Lets be realistic here ... I fell off the treadmill a few weeks ago and it wasn't pretty)... and I'm going to say no more. Who knows what will happen next.. but I'm hopeful.