Practicing contentment

I have a pretty good marriage. But what some people probably don't realize is that it really was a conscious decision on my part for that to happen. Let me tell you why..

Many years ago, as a young wife and mother I found myself drowning in disillusionment. My husband was a great guy but he was not employed full time and the burden of supporting us fell to me...for seven years. Money was short, and grad school took all his time. I was not feeling like a good mother and I was isolated from my family. It became easy to complain to a friend or two about my unhappiness. And they would validate what I would say, expressing their sorrow that my life was so hard. Little things bothered me and I would mentally criticize each thing that my husband did or did not do. I'm sure he didn't really realize it at the time but we were in a bit of a rut.


I'm not really sure what made me change my attitude ...but one day I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. And from that one day, it grew to one week and one month etc. If he was late, I'd tell myself he was busy studying so he could do well in school. If he was quiet I'd tell myself he was calm and a good counterbalance to me. I'd focus on the good things he was doing with the children and how they were able to spend time with him when I was working..not on how much I was missing out on. And I'd tell myself over and over again that I was so grateful I had a job and the ability to help us financially so that our student loans would be less overall. I'd also tell myself that one day I'd work a lot less and be a full time mother. It wasn't instant but when I told myself good things about our relationship and then shared them with others..our relationship grew better and others perception of our relationship also became increasingly positive.


Being content was not just an accident. It was a conscious decision.

I think people nowadays chase after perfect relationships, perfect weddings, perfect children and are disappointed with their mediocre lives...when in reality, life is not always a fairytale. We don't always present reality in our prettied up blogs.


And we want so much from our modern men. We want them to support us in style while they help with the kids and listen to our every emotional need. Those kind of men really don't exist. Most men I know try very hard but they a are wired differently. Would our grandmothers have been so hard on their mates? NO. They didn't expect much at all and were okay with it for the most part..but we want and get so much more cooperation and yet we aren't satisfied.

Granted, I'm no expert and I can only speak to my situation.. But I firmly believe..

Being content is a choice.